Using the Backspace Key

In our world of texts, social medial posts and instant communication I have become an expert at using the backspace button. Deleting words that are best left unsaid. But I have mixed feelings about it. (Yes, I know, my blogs are filled with my mixed feelings! It would be boring if I told you about the things that don’t impact me, like fixing breakfast or sweeping the porch). ANYWAY….as I backspaced away my latest reply to a friend who was complaining about a problem, I realized I was “biting my tongue” because of anticipation of how she would respond to what I was saying. I could tell she was super upset/angry/emotional and there wasn’t anything I could think of to say that wouldn’t trigger more and possible put myself smack in the center of her firing scope. So I backspaced away what I really wanted to say, which was basically everyone has this problem, welcome to the club, and just used my therapeutic “Oh, so sorry that is happening,” and moved on. But what stayed with me is how many times a day I backspace my first reply. A good thing, I think, because why cause a fight? But a bad thing when I feel small, and curled up, and resentful because I can’t express what I want to spew. Of course, I snapped myself out of it by writing a short story about a backspace button for life…you know, deleting not just what I have typed, but choices I made, things I have done, and those words I actually said out loud and instantly wished I had kept to myself.